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February 7, 2011 / thegirlwhotooktheleap

Dear Stephen Colbert

Have I mentioned that Timmy LOVES Stephen Colbert? Well he adores him, and he always talks about him. I tried buying tickets online for his show, but have never succeeded.. It’s always sold-out which is a major drag because I was hoping to get something for March or April so that it could be like a pre-wedding/wedding present or even a birthday gift for Timmy. He got me broadway tickets to see Wicked for Christmas so I thought it would only be appropriate to return the awesome favor by letting Tim meet his idol. Unfortunately all my efforts have been unsuccessful so I decided to take matters into my own hands. First, I enlisted Breanna’s help (Tim’s sister) to steal 2 wedding invitations from Tim’s stash and insert the letter I had sent her on gmail, then send 1 copy to the Colbert Report, and 1 copy to Stephen Colbert’s manager (I googled it). I also emailed the producer of the Colbert Report but didn’t receive any replies. Anyway here is a copy of the letter I had sent, together with the invitation:

Stephen Colbert
c/o The Colbert Report
513 West 54th Street
New York, NY 10019

January 10, 2011

Dear Mr. Colbert,

Hi! I am sure you must get a ton of fan mail daily, and though you may mistake this as a typical letter, I assure you that it will be an interesting one. My name is Stephanie and I am 23. I am from the Philippines originally and I came to the USA on a fiancé visa. My fiancé is Timothy Kramer, he is 22, and he is a huge fan of yours and by huge I mean he worships the ground you walk upon. Tim and I are by no means an ordinary couple. I was a speech therapist who moved to China on a scholarship to learn Chinese, and Tim was a cadet from Norwich University, Military College of Vermont, who also went on a language program in China. It is there where we met and fell in love. It hasn’t been an easy road for us, we’ve gone through both a long-distance relationship and the crazy process of a fiancé visa all at once, not to mention Tim’s insane military trainings in between as well. But we have survived and now our wedding is finally at reach. We will be getting married this April 2nd, 2011 in Norwich University, Vermont. It will be a multi-cultural Catholic and military wedding.

Now what does this have to do with you? Well basically I am inviting you to attend the wedding because I cannot think of a cooler present for my fiancé than your presence. Not only that, if you do actually show up, I will be the coolest wife in the world, and I’m quite sure that my fiancé will love me forever and ever. If I ever do anything wrong, I can just say “Hey remind me again who came to our wedding?” and all will be forgiven. You will be my ticket to a happy marriage, so to speak. 🙂 So what do you say? Please please please come? It will be interesting for you too as my family from the Philippines are all coming as well, and your show does air over there and it is also quite popular. This is a surprise and no one else knows about this, mainly because if I told Tim that I had written you he might get his hopes up and I am not sure how reliable these addresses are. I actually hope this reaches you in time!

If in the event that you cannot make it, perhaps two tickets to your show would do (PLEASE?), it has been impossible for me to try to book tickets online, it is always sold-out (not that I am surprised). My fiancé visa stipulates that I cannot leave the country until I get my green card so your show would be the perfect honeymoon! I am not asking much Mr. Colbert (If I was I would’ve written to Oprah- just kidding), all I really want is your presence or a phone call, or tickets, or an autograph from you for my fiancé as I know it would really mean the world to him!

That is all, I hope you can get back to me soon! Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Stephanie Afzelius

PS. I promise you that we are legit, you can view our wedding website at www.weddingwire.com/timmyandsteph 🙂 The website will have information on how to contact us, as will the invites. You can also email me at steph.afzelius@gmail.com J Thank you once again!

Anyway about 3 weeks later Tim receives a letter from Stephen Colbert’s mail-reading droids. It said,

Dear Mr. Kramer,

We regret to inform you that Stephen Colbert cannot accept Ms. Afzelius’ kind invitation…etc..

Sincerely,

Stephen Colbert (with no signature)

🙂 🙂 🙂

Lol.. Tim was really happy and he thought what I did was really sweet. I do wonder though if he actually even read it or if it only reached his “people”. Nevertheless, it was still nice of them to respond and they printed it on very cool and official-looking paper which we saved and will treasure for all eternity. I’m sure Stephen Colbert will never ever read my blog, but this is me giving you a shout-out and thanking you for the response, and i f you change your mind, the offer still stands :p

I know I will still be the coolest wife in the world with or without tickets to his show. 🙂

PS. Thanks for sending the letters Bree!

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One Comment

Leave a Comment
  1. xeanrose / Sep 28 2011 7:56 pm

    actually,you are really a cool person, or even more.. and yes! i do understand what you want, and i guess all of us or others would do anything and everything just for our loved ones and show to them how much we love them, i swear! in front of the ice cream and promise that i’m telling the truth that your even more coolest wife ever for your husband..

    I know that kind of feeling (“,)/’)

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