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May 15, 2011 / thegirlwhotooktheleap

Think once, twice and then think again BEFORE you file a petition

Everyday on VisaJourney I read stories about couples not working out. I read stories about the beneficiary changing when they set foot on the US, beneficiaries becoming cunning and manipulative and ultimately the petitioner learns that he/she was just after the elusive green card after all. There are also stories about the petitioner being the one who changed, that they feel all high and mighty and think that the beneficiary is now indebted to them because they have brought him/her to the US, and some even threaten to withhold AOS. I could go on and on about the things I see and read on VJ, these sad stories that unfortunately are not too rare. Of course, I am not generalizing because I know of A LOT of genuine relationships as well.

I think that for the most part, a lot of these failed cases could have been spared if only they had seen the red flags beforehand. If only people do not rush into these things, and actually TAKE THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. Most people meet through the internet, which is fine, but before you consider such a huge step such as filing for a k1 or getting married and filing CR1, ask yourself first, can you really see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person? This is not a joke, it involves a lot of time, money and you are investing so much in this. Take note that the beneficiary is leaving everything behind to move to America, so again, you need to ask yourself, is your petitioner really worth it? And, are you really leaving for the right reasons? Are you really in love with him/her, or is this just a means to escape poverty or whatever it is you are facing in your country? Because in reality, the US is no longer what it used to be. It is not the land of milk and honey, and nothing here comes free. When you get here, you will need to WORK to survive (if you can even find work), and you will only have your petitioner to depend on. How much do you really know about your petitioner that you are willing to give everything up for him? And on another note, to the petitioner, do you really know this person you are bringing to the US? Do you also have the right intentions? You are bringing someone to become your spouse, not to be your slave, and they are not indebted to you. Are you really willing to support this person financially and help this person adjust to American living? Do you know this person well enough to bring him/her into your life?

Do not ignore ANY red flags. If you are in doubt, do something about it. Do not wait till its too late. Now I am happy for those who truly find true love, because this is really what this is about, and its what we all want. As much as we complain about how slow USCIS is, its because they are processing thousands of petitions, and we are just one of them. Immigration is a privilege, and we should not abuse it.

So think once, and then twice before you take the leap. Take your time and get to know your loved one, and save yourself some trouble. I am not here to judge anyone, I am simply telling you (the beneficiary, or the petitioner) to be careful, because we are dealing with lives here and it should not be taken lightly.

Now goodluck to all and God bless you 🙂



Leave a Comment
  1. The Reason You Come / Jun 3 2011 2:48 am

    I hear about these stories, too, on Visa Journey and the news. (Who doesn’t? It’s not uncommon, like you said.) Women use US citizens as their ticket out of poverty, or men treat their foreign wives like maids once they set foot on US soil. It’s sad and alarming.

  2. Cheryl Ann / Apr 1 2012 2:50 am

    You give the most sensible advice. I do hope a lot of beneficiaries understand what they are getting themselves into.

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